Asexual Old Gaurd

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[argumate]

sci-fi plot: yeah and in this futuristic city he meets a woman–

producer: is she a stripper? is she a callgirl? does she get her tits out? is she a cop working undercover as a stripper? is she a sexy assassin who has sex with her victims and then kills them sexily? is she a robot stripper? is she a mystical being of pure energy who has no need for clothes and a great rack? is she a holographic beer advertisement?

[thatkindoffeminist]

@grudgepacker don’t leave this gem in the notes!

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[curlicuecal]

what if instead of having a fake name for internet personal-life purposes we could have a fake name for professional work-life purposes

[curlicuecal]

fantasy culture where you have a different name for every role in your life and a true name that is extremely secret

[curlicuecal]

you don't get to know all of me

it's tuesday you only get to know sara

[curlicuecal]

you understand me to my soul

[lostsometime]

a train name!  a name you only use on trains!

[megidonitram]

None of you have been the second person with your name hired at your work place.

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[megidonitram]

Violet is mad that I'm resting my arm on her bed (a caseless memory foam pillow that is older than her) even though she does not currently want to lay on the bed.

[megidonitram]

I’m being hunted in the night

[megidonitram]

She has zero chill.

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[bad-4chan-literature]

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[fiztheancient]

i cant believe there are people who still havent seen this video

[jerkstorecalling]

I could probably recite this entire video, word-for-word, on demand.

[orbispelagium]

Goddamn, this is nearly thirty years old and it fits like a glove into contemporary shitpost cadence and aesthetics, this is High Art

[oh-man-aw-geez]

“that’s right

we’ll fuck your wife”

[quackatomic]

IT BETTER NOT BOUNCE OR YOU’RE A DEAD MOTHERFUCKER

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

@spoopy-paremt-froge

[nail-bat-butch]

As a Marylander, I’m confused and furious as to why I’ve never seen this commercial on tv

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[rainie-is-seasonchange]

Reflection of heart cave.

Chiba, Japan.

[aurora-australis-tumbles]

[shredsandpatches]

You are absolutely not the only one.

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[yamujiburo]

flighter pilot mama

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[flork-of-cows-unofficially]

exorcism

[Asexual Old Gaurd]

[carmidoll]

Lionel Lindsay - The Witch